The Luna Trials Chapter 68
Savvy, what do you mean?” Kai’s face went pale, and the princess’s smile dropped. She expected him to be over the moon about it, or at least stunned, but she could feel waves of tension radiating from him now and did not know what to do.
“Kai Fionnlagh, this is not the reaction l was counting on,” she informed him with her brows knitted together.
“Savvy” he pulled her into his embrace and cupped her chin gently. Nevertheless, she could tell he was nervous. “Are you-“
“I don’t know yet, if l am honest” she admitted, blushing softly. “I think it’s possible.”
Savannah felt his grip on her stiffen and instantly knew that something was wrong. She distanced herself from him, the mood sour all of a sudden. Was the possibility of the two of them having children together so scary for him? Weren’t they talking about expanding their family right after they got married before all the drama? Did he change his mind? A panic attack started without warning, affecting every single cell of her body.
Why was it going all wrong?
“If you don’t want the child-” She fiddled with the sheet, lowering her eyes, and he growled, getting her back into his arms and onto his la*p.
“Savvy, I want it more than anything. You, me and an army of our little pups. I want it all,” the King assured her.
“There is one problem, though. I. Savvy, I think I f*cked up.”
Now he was the one who couldn’t look her in the eye, and she started to get worried.
“What is it?” She brushed his cheek with her palm, tilting his head towards her. Surely, it couldn’t have been that bad.
“I’ve been blessed by a god, Savannah,” Kai confessed, and she breathed out in relief. She kind of figured this one out already.
“lt seems to be a common theme lately” she chuckled. “l only heard about it in legends, and now l know three people who have had the honour.”
“Three?” He shot her a puzzled look.
“You, Ria and… Bjorn,” she admitted, letting out an exasperated sigh. “There is this deity that helps him-
You know, never mind. This night is ours, and I want to only speak about us.”
“You see, Sav, there is a difference between me and the others,” Kai decided to be honest with his mate. He didn’t want to start their new life together with lies or hiding essential information. Their family wouldn’t be like that, and his Luna deserved to know everything. She deserved all the best things in life, especially choosing her own destiny. Unfortunately, that was one thing he partially deprived her of now.
“What do you mean?” Savannah was ready to listen to whatever it was he had to share with her. She could see how not easy it was for him and gently laced their fingers together to give him the reassurance he needed.
“The deity who blessed me was Fenrir” Kai revealed, but this was something she already suspected.
“Well, it was to be expected,” Savvy asserted with her l!ps curled into a gentle smile. “He is the patron of the North, after all.”
“You see, the problem is, I don’t think he wanted to bless me,” the King sighed, avoiding her gaze.
“Then how?” Now Savannah was lost. Surely, a god had to know what he was doing. And why wouldn’t Fenrir want to save the lycan who served him his whole life?
“He is.. not what we imagine him to be. He looked.. like he didn’t care. Long messy hair, a beard and a few scars on his face,” Kai closed his eyes, trying to remember any details. “He didn’t come to help me. It was an accident.”
“An accident?” The princess gasped. Here she thought that Kai had a similar experience to Riannon’s, but apparently, that couldn’t be further away from the truth. “Is that even possible?”
“He came to retrieve the spear,” her mate admitted.”
It was all he wanted. But the moment he touched it, something happened, and a jolt of divine power went through me. This brought me back to life, but it was temporary, and Fenrir seemed as surprised as I was.
“Are you even sure that it was Fenrir?” Savvy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Yes, I am certain of that. It’s hard to explain this, but – he is my deity. At some level, a part of me has always heard his call inside of my soul. It spoke to him even if he did not respond. The moment our eyes met, I knew who he was.”
“But why didn’t he want to save you then?” She couldn’t comprehend this. The Moon Goddess went to great lengths to help Riannon because she believed that her sister-in-law was worthy of a second chance and that they deserved to win the war against the foxes and bears. Why didn’t Fenrir feel the same way about the King who worshipped him his whole life and served the North with his whole heart?
“He looked.. strange” Kai replied after a while. “Not godly at all. He looked like he was just passing by. If not for the spear, I don’t think he would have bothered helping me at all. He told me that my life was over, and I had to go to the next world, that it would be better, and I would be happy there.”
Savannah’s heart clenched uncontrollably. Her nightmare could have been true. She could have lost him because no one was eager to save him. Him being here right now was just dumb luck and nothing more.
“Savvy-” her mate took her hands into his large palms and placed one to his heart, while the other was pressed against his l!ps. “I will always be at fault about this, but I hope that you will understand. I was already on the other side, dead and gone. And all I knew was that I left you alone at the worst of times. My house was in flames, and I saw dead bodies around me.I saw Zack, and I could smell the scents of the bears that had already left. I knew that Bjorn took you away and that you were alone. At that moment, that was all l cared about. -“
“What did you do?” The Princess whispered with pale, trembling l!ps, only now realising how worried he really was. He did something. Kai did something he couldn’t forgive himself for.
“Fenrir did not want to save me,” the Northern King repeated himself, “and I begged him to help me. I held the spear in my hands, not letting him pull it out, fighting him for it. I knew very well that the moment he retrieved it, I would go back to the other side, and you would be on your own forever. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“What did you do?” Savannah’s nails dug into his flesh, demanding the answer.
“He told me there would be a price,” Kai said, his voice void of emotion as he couldn’t bring himself to look into his mate’s eyes. “I said that I was ready to do whatever it took. You were my number one priority. So, when he said that my firstborn would be this price, I agreed without hesitation.”
Savvy choked on her own breath and let go of him.
Her hands wrapped around her belly unconsciously. This was the moment when she knew there was a life inside of her; this was the moment when she felt it for the first time so distinctively that she couldn’t ignore it anymore or pretend that it wasn’t there. She was with child, and this child would be taken away from her one day.
Life was so cruel indeed… Why was it so merciless?
What did she do to deserve this? Was she so horrible that all the bad things always happened to her?
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them away because she knew crying wasn’t an option anymore. She couldn’t be weak. She couldn’t afford to be weak. Even though she wanted to fall apart, she knew that now she had to be stronger than ever.
“I hoped we would have more time,” Kai continued, guilt written all over his face. “I thought that maybe.
“Maybe what?” She darted her eyes at him. “What could possibly fix this?”
“I didn’t have much time to think about it, as you can imagine.” He couldn’t bear to see her this way. He couldn’t tolerate the fact that this time, it was his fault.
All he wanted was to protect her, to save her, and now he ended up being the person who hurt her the most.
“Oh, Kai,”‘ she whispered, covering her face with her palms.
“I thought that maybe l could go to a clinic, use a surrogate and someone else’s egg-” he confessed. “It was the best thing I could think of, but-“
“But it’s already too late,” she interjected, sparing him from saying that it was a horrible idea either way.
“Savvy, I’m so sorry!” he wanted to pull her into a hug but was afraid to even try. Kai Fionnlagh, the King of the Northern Lycan Kingdom and the warrior who was never afraid of anything, was terrified now that the mate he had waited for so long, the one whom he loved more than life itself, the one for whom he came back from hell would reject him now.
She did not move, and he did not know what to do. If he lost her now, it would break him. If she rejected him now, he would have no choice but to turn into a wolf and follow her around as a loyal dog until the end of his days because he couldn’t part with her again. He would spend his whole life trying to fix what he did and prove her his worth if he had to.
Her warm palm cupped his cheek, and he flinched, realising he was shaking before that moment. The fear of losing her again was agonising.
“l am angry” she said honestly, and his heart dropped, “l am so freaking angry, and I will probably always be. But.. I want you to know that I love you even when I’m angry. That will never change, Kai. I already lost you once, and I am not going to do that again. I won’t be able to live without you anyway. I am not wasting time on quarrels. Everything is against us once again, but l’m not going to let it break us. Just know that l’m not planning to give up our child to any of the gods that want him or her. I will fight for them, and I will die for them if I have to, but no one is touching my baby.”
“| will not let them,” he assured her. “I’d rather go back to the other side than let anyone touch a hair on our child’s head. It did not look like Fenrir wanted her too much, to begin with. I’m sure we’ll find a way to negotiate it, and if not, we will find another way-“
She nodded at him, and this time he did pull her into his chest, burying his face in her hair and letting her scent envelop him. He could feel the cold glow of his mark on her, and in some way, it brought him peace. It wasn’t the end, and they would find a way out again.
They always did.
“Wait-” suddenly, he distanced himself from her and made her look at him. “What do you mean by any of the gods that want him or her?”
He did not think it was possible, but Savannah’s face became even sadder.
“The deity that helps Bjorn, Joran, made me a similar offer. He wanted me to promise him my firstborn in exchange for his help.”
“What the-” Kai swore under his breath. “What do they all need from our child?”
“I don’t know,” Savannah admitted, “but if anyone would know, it will be Riannon. Her gift lets her see many things. If anyone can help us, it would be her.”
“Good.” The king placed a soft k!ss on the top of her head, murmuring something else she couldn’t understand, but then added louder, “We need all the help we can get.”
They stayed like this for some time, and before the light dared to reach the room, Kai felt the sun rising with his skin. Their peaceful time was almost up, and soon they would have to get back to the castle. It couldn’t wait any longer, and they already stole these hours like two thieves who did not know any better.
“Savvy,” he fell back into the bed, placing her head on his chest and stroking her hair gently, “tell me everything that happened there. I want to know everything there is to know.”
“It’s-“She bit her l!p, not sure if it was a good idea. “
It’s not a pleasant story.”
“This is exactly why I want you to share everything with me,” he caressed her more, hoping that he could make her feel safe despite his imperfections.
Savannah sighed heavily and traced the silver North Star mark on his neck with her fingers. Somehow, it was giving her strength to go on.
She started from the moment Kai closed his eyes at their unsuccessful marking ceremony and finished when she saw him again back in the woods. Kai did not interrupt her and only asked questions when she paused to help him have the full picture, and by the end of her retelling, his anger was boiling inside of him.
“Savvy,” he cleared his throat when she was done. “
Did you ever… feel attracted to Bjorn?”
“Not really” she replied without hesitation, knowing that he hatèd the bear’s claim on her. “I mean, I was interested to find out more about who he was because our encounters were strange, but-” She looked at his face and smiled, reaching to give him a small peck on the l!ps. “Don’t be jealous. You were always the one for me, even when Zack was alive. There was never a competition with anyone.”
“Do you think it’s possible he is or was your second-chance mate?” Kai furrowed his brows.
“Of course, not!” Savannah lifted her chin to have a better look at him.”You are my second-chance mate, are you not?”
He pressed his l!ps and let out a painful growl.
“Fenrir. After I was reborn, he did something else”
“What did he do?”
“He took a bead off his bracelet and crushed it between his fingers, letting the sparks of magic as ancient as time land on me. I didn’t know what it was back then, and I didn’t feel any different, but it seemed important to him. He said he was keeping it for someone else, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Kai, what are you saying?” Savvy started to realize the horrible truth, but she did not want to say it out loud.
“I begged for you, Savannah,” her mate confessed,” It was all for you, and it felt like he wanted to give me a gift after all. What if… what if Bjorn was right and you were his second chance? But Fenrir gave us a new mate bond instead.”
Her l!ps parted in shock. She couldn’t have imagined that.
“But I never felt anything for him,” she wanted to argue her case.
“You couldn’t,” Kai’s grip on her tightened, but he continued his thought. “You were mated to Zack first and fell in love with me. Then, when Zack was killed, your soul needed to heal first to accept a new bond. These things aren’t instant.. But Fenrir bonded us before Bjorn could do anything.”
Savannah tried to connect the dots, but it wasn’t easy, and in the end, she hid her face somewhere in Kai’s broad chest.
“It doesn’t matter” she muttered. “Even if it were the truth, I would still choose you.”
“I know,” her King smiled, wrapping his hands around her. “You were mine from the moment I laid my eyes on you. The mate bond from Fenrir is a nice bonus, but- Savvy, what we always had was more than a connection created by someone else. It was almost more. Even gods couldn’t break us apart.”
“And gods aren’t taking our baby anywhere,” she agreed, feeling the weight of her eyelids getting too heavy.
She closed them just for a second, as it was almost afternoon already.
“Time to go back,” Kai whispered and placed a k!ss on her forehead.
Savannah feared going back to the castle, fearing to see what happened to it after the recent events, but when they both walked into the main hall, holding hands, she gasped because she did not expect to see what unfolded before her eyes..