I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 66
LAKE
For the second night in a row, Manning didn’t come to the dining room after lights out. Tiffany did – at least that meant she wasn’t with him. With Manning away, the boys had approached her all night like bees to honey or moths to a flame. That’s who Tiffany was to them, whether they knew it or not. A honeyed flame. A poor guy had been walking in circles for an hour, working up the courage to talk to him. Tiffany didn’t even notice.
Tiffany, Hannah and I sat in a circle on the floor with a few other counselors. Tiffany crossed her legs beneath her. “I don’t remember half of those guys from high school. It’s like they haven’t seen a girl in months.
Most
e.
e sexy.”
sure none of them were within earshot, then c
t night?”
checked her makeup i
ht?”
snap. “So good. So good.
on the back of my ne
y?”
he has men there.
do?” “
this dinner just for me. We
aid he didn’t talk about it With someone.
a little sister. And she was gone. His kindness to me, sometimes, could be almost brotherly, the way he didn’t smoke or swear in my pr
walked me back to my cabin,” Tiffany continued. “He never acted like I owed him an
ble with. I wanted Tiffany to be treated well, but not enough to give her Manning.
ed.
trying to be polite at first.”
”
rn sooner or later, Lake, so it might as well be sooner. Men’s brains t
give for dinner with Manning. And then to be alone with him afterwards, to have our first kiss in the quiet darkness under the pines.
arting to
nt…
School?” she asked.
is hands. He was definitely more prey than predator.
ou remember.
be here.
d, getting up.
ok my pla
ANKS.”
abin. Bushes I couldn’t even see rustled. There were no lights, just a sliver of a crescent moon, but even that was blocked by trees. The frogs burped in unison at the edge of the lake.
s before I saw anyone. It annoyed me n
lone in the woods,” Manning said.
o his tall figure a few feet in front of me, in the shadows, but undeniably his.
e 13th?” he asked.
“No.”
family that stubborn?”
and how he betrayed me by telling Tiffany something that would have made more sense to tell me, someone who cared. But if it was true about his sister, a snide comment
I was where Manning wasn’t. I glanced at the ground.
onight?”
n patrol.
ely avoided me.
with you?” »
ted.
really a two-pe
e?”
you back to your bunk, but we can take the long way
I turned to follow hi
I
the kids. ” Did
back in his pocket. “have you started your father’s list yet?” » I imagined him asking me several times since my last visit to the library. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to say what I wanted, but it helped that he couldn’t see me blushing. “Not yet. I decided to take your advice and check out a book that’s not on the list. “Oh yeah? Which?” Despite the cool mountain air, my body grew warmer, for once I said what I had chosen, it would be obvious why. “Lolita” Manning did not respond. My heart beat in my throat,
ou know him ? »
about it.
n people were around, but we were alone now, away from everyone. I kicked a rock. Manning must have thought I had tripped, because he reached out to grab my arm.
lking away.
ed to look up.
ings, Lake. More than anyone.”
r.”
u called me a li
thing .”
it was true.
I’m seeing a new side of you lately,”
te with Tiffany?
t this is about?
.”
ng.”
“
to ask because I wasn’t sure what the point of knowing was. But I had to do it. I wanted to hear it from him, not from Tiffany, who was exaggerating when it came to these things. At least I was pretty sure she did.
I told you yesterday,” he said, “this is between your sister
ng me to fill in the blanks.
did other things too.
sharply.
She doesn’t even care.
e
.”
g.”
Did you tell him about me?” Does she
ld ruin everything by calling me childish or teasing me for having a crush. He had made his point.
“No.
o he was talking about. Everyone who wasn’t us.
Tiffany than you are to me.”
know that?”
. Our friendship progresses differently. It means something else.
It is not fair.”
ed, but I didn’t answ
reak up with her?”
made it right.
e there’s something about her that brings it all together. Like glue.”
p with her, I’d miss laughing. You know?”
I frowned.
o makes you laugh.
Tiffany wasn’t there, that would be… people wouldn’t unders
er people thought?
her, Lake.”
aves. Laughing wasn’t appropriate just like our friendship wasn’t.
nderstand.”
o you.” “
What do you want
rt, hands in the pockets of his jeans, forearms outstretched. I could tell he was thinking, his eyes distant, but what, I didn’t care. wasn’t sure. Maybe I asked too many questions and he was about to send me back to my cabin.
?” He asked.
wers. Both were locked at the end of each day.
uld get through the enc
r to the fence and lifted me up the way he had hoisted me up the wall the day we met. I straddl
d. “It’s one of the best places to see the stars.”
e last time I looked at the stars,
Bear.”
to me.
ciled his own square. “It’s part of Ursa
g Dipper,” I repeated.
” “
out on the lawn and make up stories about the constellations. I didn’t know anything, but she started reading books about them. He swallowed. The emotion in his voice was new to me, and he swore, something he had never done in my presence. “Soon,” he continued, “she was the one telling me stories.”
e?”
rs ago. Apart from a great aunt, I had never known anyone to die. I couldn’t imagine my life without my sister. My childhood would have been completely different without Tiffany, especially if she had disappeared in the middle of it. Poof, I tried to find a way to express my sympathy, to make this moment easier for him. I couldn’t touch him,
r, but he did it. We both lay down, some distance separating us.
re if they hadn’t heard us. “It’s been a long time since I looked at the sky very carefully,” he said.
ying to imagine it. “What did she look like?”
he opposi
d you of her.”
the only person who loved me as I was.
ught of saying it out loud made my heart race and my tongue shrivel. I wondered if I would ever be able to admit it. Maybe -maybe he knew, though. Maybe that’s how he thought I was like her.
the hot concrete, towar
said. “Dark eyes. We looked a lot alike, except you could tell there was a whole universe b
n. I can’t even imagine it.
were fifteen?
“Yes.”
k how it was. had happened. I wanted him to want me to know, to tell me. To give me something he hadn’t given anyone else, especially not Tiffany. The longer we looked at the sky, the more I realized he wouldn’t. And what did that mean? Didn’t he trust me?
again. “There he is. I was trying to find th
r?”
aïr. About a foot away is Vega. In the middle is the Milky Way. See? “
dn’t want to ruin it. “I think so.”
ing them.
July. There was no bridge, so as long as the night was clear and it didn’t rain, the birds would carry Vega across the river to Altair for that night.
ut we had this: the stars, the lovers, the night.
at?”
d it was a trian
ally a triangle at all.
“They’re all here, Lake. I can’t move the stars .
with it, right?” He must have heard the panic in my voice. It was h
them.
get it? I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. My hair fell forward, a curtain around us.
a plea? A warning? I couldn’t say it.
He told me in so many words that one day, we would cross the river towards each other.
r.
er, stopping me. “We can not.”
ht he knew better than me. Didn’t he see that it wasn’t true? That some things were bigger than good and evil, bigger than us Hot tears pierced the back of my eyes. “Why not?”
He placed his hand on my cheek and I leaned against his palm. “That will have to be enough.”
ng.”
know you’re not. But at your age, it can be hard to think beyond the moment. Consider the consequences. The fu
.”
be great things. You’ll fly far,
allow?
There wasn’t even a cloud in the sky – I just couldn’t find the stars.
walked to the fence.
t. I had it first. But was I losing it?
losing him to Tiffany?