I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 69
It changed the air around us. The molecules have rearranged themselves. The truth sat between us like a third person. In a way, it was. Madison was never far from my mind. I always carried it, a long ride until the day I died. “I couldn’t save her.”
Lake didn’t move an inch. She sat there so long that I looked to make sure she was still conscious. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I did not realize.”
Judging by the look on his face, I had scared him. I couldn’t stop there.
s.
them.
r love.
that a good thing?”
m the wrong side of the tracks. They didn’t grow up the same way. This might be fine if you’re not as passionate as you are different. Long story short, they fought as hard as they made up.
eant, so I glossed over it.
ad day at work. He only hurt Madison once when she was a child. When I hit puberty and grew taller than him, this never happened to us again, just to my mother when I wasn’t around.
n me, maybe this would cure her.
ent after your sister, and you wouldn’t let him.”
e misheard Lake.
ha
pened ?
n.
n, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to leave me . So I told her to get the hell out or I’d kick her a*s myself. I just wanted her to leave. She looked terrified, that’s how I felt, but it worked. She ran from behind.
ht thing,” Lake said.
alded, but I had a burn from the water for a while afterwards. Broken dining room chairs. Blood on my joints. Everything falls in a second. .
rd the screaming.”
» LAKE
’s name out loud, reliving th
way down. She was unconscious for quite a long time while we were all in the house.”
cold body out of warm water. Trying to bring life to a stiff mouth. Breathing if hard in her that I almost passed out.
y would see the bruises on Maddy and my mother and the mess in the kitchen. He hadn’t punched me, but he was bleeding from a broken nose. I was the only one unhurt. When the officers asked what happened, he explained that I was mad that I was beating Maddy and so were they.
“No.
e let you take the rap?”
father away.”
knees.
a lot and that I had been good to the girls. I shook my head. “I wasn’t, though. . I should have had him locked up the first time it happened.
g on?
ge, but it didn’t h
ask myself, how did I know I didn’t have the same thing? I got angry like any man. I tried to never put myself in a situation where I could test the
ened to it?”
omplaint. My mother wouldn’t do it. She tried to stop me from doing it, she didn’t see what point it would be if Maddy was gone anyway. I didn’t see it that way, though. I wanted the maximum sentence.
ets on her wrist, twisting eve
you were fifteen?”
t because of Maddy. I have seen and done many things that a child should not do. It changes
oftly.
. . and your mother ?
till in Pasadena. I guess.”
live with Dad’s sister. My mother was my mother, I loved her.
fter that. I realized that once I moved out, I resented him anyway for staying with him
ed out, I resented him anyway for staying with him all that time.
’t go back there either,” Lake said.
king about Lake in a situation like that hurt. “My aunt was fine. She didn’t forgive my dad like mom did, but she kind of checked out. She was torn about Madison and felt bad that she hadn’t done anything sooner knowing my father’s temper. So we left ourselves al
till feel like this?”
o you?” I as
t.
s how I’m going to give.”
elieved you,” said -she pieces it
cop. Help people like him. It wasn’t exactly a happy ending, but it was something. It was all I had. Everything else was mistakes, broken relationships, and losses.
never have done it.” Lake’s voice shoo
re. She was far away, but I could still reach her. “I know. It just reminded me of everything, you disappear like that. His cheeks were damp. “Please don’t.” Do not Cry.
s. Our… you. .”
d gripped her ankle. I realized the thing clutched in her hand was her bra. She was still the girl I wanted to protect. No nail polish. Without makeup. Wet hair. Wanting what she wanted, no price too high. But there was more to her tonight, there always had been. The look she gave me, as if she could feel me responding to her small breasts and her pink mouth. Those gaping shorts. She was breathing hard again, but not from fear. Her tears had dried. She stuck her foot between the seats, where I had pushed the cigarettes, and pulled out the pack. “You look like you need it.”
oving her legs and turned up the stereo.
is request goes from Naomi C. to John M., and I don’t think I have to tell you what Naomi is trying to say. It’s right there in the title.”
I grabbed her wrist.
want to see what it’s l
It wasn’t like she had anythin
I do the right thing?”
e, broke it, threw it out the window. “I told you. I’m quitting.”
Her sweet breath became mine. It was so easy to forget everything else with her. Being close to her didn’t feel bad. I could just immerse myself in it, I didn’t have to be careful like I did with others, like I knew that on some level she would protect me. She would take care of me. As a side effect of trying to hold back, I squeezed her ankle hard enough to make her gasp. She moved to the corner of my mouth, pressing her lips to my soft, slow skin.
I whispered.
“I know.
change you.”
have. I want this. I can decide for
’s not that simple.”
or her.
d, that she had never wanted one with anyone else. Maybe she was too young for that but I also wanted to be her first. I put my other hand on her shoulder, aiming to pull her away. She lowered her head, planting little pleading pecks behind my ear that might as well have been her saying please, Manning, s “Please, please. My head fell back against the headrest. “F**k, Lake.”
cked between us, she hooked the other over my knee and moved my hand towards her thigh. She hummed the song “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover.”
g what wasn’t mine, making beautiful things ugly.
lips. “A kiss. Then we can stop.
her shoulders and hold her away. “We can’t.”
hed tears. “No one needs to know,” she be
lashing.
ith get caught.
the back window.
the road in the dark.
e?” she asked.
Can I.”
long limbs almost hitting me in the face. There was no back seat, just a narrow space behind the front one where I had found the towels.
at are you doing?” I asked
to make a decision. I respected law enforcement, but I was not naive. I knew not all cops were good. But what kind of trouble could I get into just sitting in the car with her? Would he believe we hadn’t done anything?
ack here,” I said.
ed his lights once, a clash of red and blue. He w
don’t want you to get in trouble.” He’ll tell Gary. Maybe even my—my father. .”
him.
Charles Kaplan. Lake’s dad would dest
if he finds you.”
uld have pushed him any further. Would I have?
ouble?” »
It won’t st
oked around. “I won’t find much help in the middle of nowhere.” “
. “
ed to go on a beer run.”
utter? You have drank ?
ent me to get some alcohol. I’m just on my w
Where are y
ounselor?”
hildren. He nodded at me.
at. I turned pale, a deer in the cop’s lights. I had to find something. If I didn’t, he would have reason to doubt me and who knows where I would end up. Probably
e handed it back to me.
.”
houlder into it. The officer stepped back as it opened.
d, which was nothing.
bout?” I asked, stepping forward in the mud. I sounded guilty even to my ow
ahead and walk in a straight line for me.”